2009 begins

these are the moments that always stay with us. this is the second that haunts you forever. this is the feeling that'll always make you hate feeling at all...i am a prisoner.

its an odd feeling being in limbo. its a good feeling as well. the grey is much better than the black and white. blacks are too scary and whites are too illusive.

i want this moment to linger for a while. i know most people would want the moment to pass but after a long time i feel in control of my life and i want to retain it. i d not believe in and do not want to in emotions. practicality, as it turns out, is the height of wisdom and inner peace. time and time again i've found out that practicality really has no parallel. if you can manage that you can manage just about anything.

ill take this moment as one of those moments. with a book publication on the way, the possibility of advancing my education and expanding my career, i make a vow today. today, i make a vow that from now on i think only about me. my only assets are my family and my friends. they have made me, and made me strong. 

ive already started on the second book. this time, plot driven it will test my depth as a writer. it will make me work for a plot without holes and a story thats gripping and fast paced. i am going to change the way Asian writers are perceived. this moment, this failure has given me strength. it has given me the will to grow and not destroy my life. 

if you know me, than know this, i am not going to let ANYONE fuck with me again. i mean that, do not FUCK with me. i will take you down...